10w6d

Yesterday I started spotting.

Today, the midwives had me come in for an ultrasound.

The Jellybean is perfectly fine.  It was wiggling around, and its measuring perfectly and woo.  The bean is good.

What’s causing the spotting is two fold.  One, I have some old junk that needs to do its thing and make its way out.  Perfectly normal.  Two, the bean’s placenta is growing on or right next to my cervix.  This is called placenta previa and it happens and causes intermittent bleeding.  Since I have an NT test next Friday, the midwife’s ultrasound wizard told me to ask them to check where my placenta was growing.  She also told me that until that test, to be on a modified type bed-rest with no exertions or heavy lifting or stress and all that good stuff.  And complete pelvic rest.

Anyway… most people’s uteri (is that the plural for uteruses?) grow out of the previa stage, so we’ll just monitor and see what happens.  I went ahead and Dr. Googled what happens if it’s still around by the time I’m in my third trimester.  Let’s just say that happy uncomplicated labors are not the norm.  I dont wanna risk out of my midwives.  They’re awesome.

Anyway.  That’s the latest update.

As always, and forever, I am grateful I have been given another day to be a mother to this bean.

9w6d

I wanted to be able to write that I wasnt sick anymore, and then last night, in the middle of sleeping, I got smacked in the face by a whopper of a nausea spell.  God that sucked.  I had to take half a unisom.

I’m feeling this thing wiggle around like I did with the monkey.  Medicine can say that I cant all it wants, but there’s something moving in there, damnit.  And it tickles.  Its cute.  Just quick little flutters, like there’s a butterfly inside of me that’s beating its fragile wings against my pelvis.  It mostly happens after I’ve eaten a shitton of sugar.

Wow.  Almost 10 weeks.

Its kinda crazy how quickly this went.  As much as I wanted to barrel past these last 6 weeks and get straight to the fun stuff, I didnt think it would actually happen.  I guess that’s the way things roll when you have another kid to take care of.  I cant sit here and be fearful every second of every day and agonize over whether or not I should eat that slice of pizza.  I did eat it.  Because I didnt have the time to grab something else.  I have a career (ish), and an 8 month old, and time moves very quickly these days.

Jules is starting to wake up, now.  I have a conference this week, so I’m able to lounge around in bed with her for a bit before heading out and taking her to day care.  I’m thinking ahead to my maternity leave early next year, and wondering if she’s going to be around for all of it.  On one hand, I hope so.  She should see her little brother or sister growing up and experiencing all the things that she did.  And on the other hand, I think I’d go nuts if I had to police a 15 month old AND take care of a newborn.  Then I remember… dude, newborns just lay there.  They eat, sleep, and poop.

Lots of time to think about that, later.  I’m gonna go snuggle with the kid I have and the kid that’s inside me.

I am grateful I have been given another day to be a mother to this bean.

8w6d

I knew this was a possibility, I did.  All the stories and anecdotal evidence from others told me that this was possible.  And yet, I thought to myself… not me.  It’ll never happen to me.  Nope.  I wont be one of those women.  In fact, I made fun of those women!

What is it?

I pee a little when I sneeze or cough.

Stop laughing.

This is seriously NOT cool.  At first it was just once.  One little dribble.  I laughed about it and moved on.  It happened again, I smiled.  This morning, I did it again.  And I was no longer amused.

What the hell, body?  Whyyyyyyyy are you doing this to meeee??  I’m already sick, tired, bloaty, angry, moody, and now sporting a somewhat saggy bump.  Did you really have to add incontinence to the mix?  Really?

And it doesnt help that I’m currently in the 40% runny nose / 60% hacking death cough stage of my cold.  I have to clench, squeeze and prepare every time I feel a tickle in my throat or nose.  This seriously sucks.

What does the future hold for me?  What else wont I be able to keep in??!  Ugh.  Visions of “Oops, I Crapped My Pants” dance in my head.  The scene where they pour an entire pitcher of iced tea into the old fart undies… yeah.  What the hell??!  Is this the beginning of my downward spiral into old?

😦

I am grateful I have been given another day to be a mother to this bean… even though I might pee a little every time I sneeze, for the rest of my life.

8w5d

The monkey was up all night.  Every 5 minutes she would cry.  She has a cold.  So do I.

Nausea is still kicking my ass, but combat with unisom is helping, tremendously.  I’m falling asleep randomly, but at least I can function.  Since my cold has draining down my throat, and coughing, I end up dry heaving multiple times a day.  I cant wait till this stage is over and I can just enjoy whatever is growing inside me.

I’ve lost something like 15lbs since I got pregnant.  I’m pretty sure the midwives are gonna get mad at me, but I’m keeping up with nutrients with vitamins and Ensure.  At least I’m making sure the jellybean is getting something.

I am grateful I have been given another day to be this bean’s mother.

8w0d

I feel like SHIT!

Doc said to take unisom to combat morning sickness.  Ok.  Whatever.  So I am, and it’s working well until it wears out and when it does my nausea is all, “ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO COMBAT ME?  YOU SILLY HUMAN!  BOW DOWN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I’m also drinking Ensure like it’s going out of style.  In the past 24 hours, I’ve had 6 bottles, 1 bag of popcorn, 2 breadsticks, and 1/3 of a lasagna.  Ugh.

The Ensure is making sure (lol) that I’m not starving.  And starving makes your nausea worse… and then you dont wanna eat… and its such a vicious horrible cycle of doom.  Who invented morning sickness?  Probably a man.  Pff.

M and my dad and my boss all feel so bad for me.  And yeah, gimme some sympathy.  I feel like ass.

Everyone says that nausea is a really good sign.  I dont care.  I didnt get it last time!  Why should I endure it this time!?  And its unrelenting.  The meds take the edge off, but I know it’s still there.  And I dread the meds wearing of.  But its not like I can walk around popping unisom all day long.  I’ll walk into a door or drive into someone’s bumper.

As always, I really am glad that I have been given another day to be this bean’s mother.  Even if it is slowly killing my soul and will to move.

7w1d

Yo.

I saw the doc on Monday to confirm that there is ONLY ONE jellybean in there.  And yes, there is only one.  Perfectly happy and healthy and measuring on time.  Strong heart beat and everything.

So, with the pictures printed out, I went ahead and outted myself on Facebook.  This Jellybean is totally forcing the issue as far as clothing is concerned, so I wasnt going to be able to hide it much longer.  Plus I’m still really nauseated so that was going to get obvious.

Yesterday I peed, and then felt like I had to pee again the whole way home from Bethesda… and the entire time I kept thinking, “This.  This is what I get to look forward to for the next 8 months.  Are you kidding me?  Really?”  And it was funny because with the Monkey, I had no clue what I was in for.  I learned as I went.  Now, I know exactly what lies ahead.

Oh, and yesterday, in bed, I experienced a small amount of splitting hooch pain.  I was like, “Seriously!?  Cant we wait off on that for a tiny bit longer?!!!!”

But really, I am excited.  I’m not trying to convince myself that I am.  I really truly am.

I am grateful that I have been given another day to be this bean’s mother.

Look ma! No hands! Or feet, or arms, or... uh, anything except a blob.

6w1d

I gave in and called the midwives for a script for zofran.  I am nauseated damn near 24/7.  Every second that there is NOT something in my mouth, I am dizzy and sick.  I cannot be like this at work.  It doesnt pan out well.  I’ll look like a frickin drunk!

😦

I am grateful (no really, I am) I have been given another day to be this bean’s mother.

5w3d

My hips and lower back are fork tender.  Just like last time.  Lol.  And the monkey has decided, today, that I am a bouncy castle!  Owwwwieeeee!!!

But last night I had a dream that I was holding this new jellybean.  It was nustling its head into my neck and chest, and I just felt so happy.  So at peace.  I really am excited about the new addition.

This morning, M brought up the tub full of maternity clothes that I put away.  I’m 5 weeks, and I’m already effing puffy and showing.  I put on my maternity pants and there’s my belly.  😐  I’m not exactly ready to put it on display, so I left on the pants but put on a regular tee shirt.

I am grateful that I have been given another day to be this bean’s mother.

5w2d

I am so tired.

My level of exhaustion is ridiculous.

What do you mean I have 7 more weeks of 1st trimester!?

I am grateful I have been given another day to be this bean’s mother.

5w0d

Yep.

Still pregnant.

This time around, I’m alot more nauseated.  And hungry.  If I get hungry, I’m gonna need food, stat.

Ugh, I’m nauseated again.

Bleh.

I am grateful I have been given another day to be this bean’s mother.